The details of the first battle are mercifully fuzzy. This time I hope to write consistently, both to share my journey and so I have more memory of it afterward. I think I have something unique to contribute. I fully intend to kick cancer's butt, but I don't hate my cancer, and I am not angry about my original diagnosis or my recurrence. Cancer is tough, but it has given me many gifts. I will try to share the gifts and growth that cancer has given me.
In March of 2010 my CA125 (cancer antigen test for Ovarian Cancer, which is treated the same as Fallopian Tube Cancer) doubled. Under 35 is normal. It was 7 after I finished treatment in May 2009. It went up to 9 and then 11 when I had my 3 month check up. March 2010 it went from 11 to 22. It's a bad sign when it doubles. I was in Tahiti in June and did my next CA125 in August, and it had jumped to 156. I had found a small lump underneath my hysterectomy incision in August, so although I was hoping it was an abscess, I knew in the back of my mind what was happening. I had a second CA125 - same result. Then I had a CT/PET scan. It showed areas that lit up, which indicates cancer. Next came an ulrtasound/biopsy. Good thing I didn't know going into it that they numb it with a shot, not the topical lotion I was envisioning. I believe the biopsy ended up being a total of three shots to numb the area, and 5 shots with the biopsy gun to remove tissue. Unfortunately I saw the needle, but it was after the procedure so it was OK! The thing is like a a gun with a four inch long needle! The doc assured me he didn't stick the needle all the way in, but I was very sore afterward. It was very difficult to do any kind of vinyasa in my yoga practice for at least a week!
End result: a phone call on Tuesday, August 24 from Kate O'Hanlan, my surgeon. She is a gynecological oncologist and she may walk on water. She radiates strength and has a powerful aura surrounding her. The first time she operated on me for cancer, she took a tumor off my colon with her hands. She is the top of her field and I am so very fortunate that she is in California so she can be my surgeon!
She will be operating to remove the cancer Tuesday September, 14. Prior to the surgery I am going to spend the weekend in SF with Casey, Susan, Linda, Amy, Alison and other friends at Michael Franti's Power to the Peaceful show all weekend. I am going to have a joyful weekend full of friends, yoga, music, Michael...bliss. We will end our weekend with our dear friends Richard and Brandon in Oakland Sunday night. What a way to go into surgery as strong and full of love as possible!!
Here's a photo from 2008, when my nurse Shannon shaved my head Because my hair was falling out:
Namaste, Jill
Jill, I will read each and every post. The cathartic experience of writing this may be just the thing to exorcise the cancer. I, too, believe these "surprise" demons make us strong-ER. Peace, love and strength...from me to you!
ReplyDeleteI edited my first post, and there was no "save" option so it reposted. Anyone know how to edit and save without resposting?
ReplyDeleteI found your blog by chance. thank you for putting out there. I was diagnosed w mmmt, uterine cancer IIIc on august 17,2011 and after surgery in september I am still under teatment. My next chemo will be the last of the sandwiche of chemo radiation. the cs125 means nothing in my case. I am afraid of reccurence yep 70%... Reading your blog gives me strenght, comfort and info. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteJill. I came upon your blog all by chance looking through namaste images on google! Small world I know.. I just want to to say that I love you and I will never forget you and your ways of life. You will always be my favorite teacher and I only wish I knew you at an older age to really see how beautiful you are spiritually and in the "out of class world". I look forward to reading more of your blog. You have always been soo real and down to earth. In class you were soo loving, human and fun and I loved it. I guess I felt almost like a relative or nephew to you or something even though I was a little smart ass sometimes. . I loved your bob Marley posters and the blue van set up for camping you had!! Love you mrs pentoney. Yewwww!!! Rock on . Namaste. Love Elijah J. your English and avid student forever!
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