Healing

Today is like a miracle. I woke up feeling better than I have in weeks. I slept reasonably well last night with no sedative, and it was wonderful. I did yoga with Jean an that made me feel even better. Then Casey and I took Jean and Rachel to breakfast. A big day for me. The crippling anxiety that has gripped me for days has lessened considerably. I believe the anxiety was caused by the pain. Between recovering from an abdomen charred with radiation, and my intense back pain for being in bed for 6 weeks, I have been a suffering, miserable, mess. I have done a lot of sobbing, which alarms Casey but I tell him it's good for me to get it out and to just let me do it. I had a few days where I found it helped to moan, so I was moaning on the floor a lot of the time. He joined me sometimes and that helped even more. He has been amazing. Without complaint, he does all of the cooking and shopping, and makes all the meals, he rubs my back, he goes out and get me things that will help or will make me happy, he sings to me to calm me down, he takes my dog for a run even though she has gotten fat and slow and he would rather go alone and have a longer run. I am doing something very right in this life to end up with a man like Casey.

Namaste,
Jill