It's amazing what self-talk and a weekend full of friends, love ans fun has done for me. I went into Monday's treatment feeling strong, happy and confident I could handle this. I was struggling with my morale before the arrival of the Rock n' Roll boys, and now I am so much better. Instead of visualizing the rays zapping the cancer, I have been giving myself a "self talk" (Sound familiar, former students?). I tell my body that the radiation is good for us, it is killing any remaining cancer and we are strong enough to get through it without being sick and nauseated all the time. I speak to myself in 3rd person because I see my spirit as lecturing my body. It is, after all separate entities. One will live on someday while the other withers and dies. It seems to be working. I told Casey yesterday that I'm putting 150% of myself into this, and containing the nausea with my will. The Haagen Daz and Ben and Jerry's is helping, too. I'll get back to my anti-cancer diet when this is over, but right now it's about getting through it.
Joanne and Peter brought us a chicken casserole (I asked her for it and it's already gone!),Susan brought us lasagna that is almost gone, and Linda sent us, via Susan, a meatless shepherd's pie that is waiting in the wings. It helps Casey, so much to be able to pop something in the oven instead of cooking a full meal. Thanks ladies, your rock!
Anyway, still riding high on the love and music of my dear friends. Now I'm onto planning my 50th birthday party, which will be September 24. I missed the real one due to surgery. Save the date, details to come. It will also be on the one year anniversary of Mom's passing, and I'd like to do something to commemorate my beautiful, feisty mom and her loving spirit.
Namaste,
Jill
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