Missing Out and Looking Forward

Mondays I go to the hospital to have blood drawn from my port and I see the doctor after treatment. It was the first time anyone has accessed my port without numbing it first and it hurt! Next week I'll be using the lidocaine my nurse Shannon gave me before I go in. At the oncologist's office they use cold spray that instantly numbs it. but hospitals don't have it for some reason. It takes the lidocaine 45 minutes to work, so the other alternative is a shot. Hmmm, a needle to get numb for the needle. Seems silly, so Shannon gave me lidocaine for my belly port. Anyway. The radiation tech put me on the scale yesterday, saw the number and said "Have you been eating?" It's getting a bit better, but it's still a challenge. The doctor is giving me Wednesday off this week since I'm having such a hard time. He also said we could do every other week, but that would make it last twice as long.

Yesterday was not as bad, probably because of my private yoga class with Jean. He'll be back tomorrow and Cathy will be here Friday. It never ceases to amaze me, how much yoga helps.

I am missing out on so much that's coming up, and it's breaking my heart. My very first AVID class is graduating from high school, and I'm going to miss it. Thursday night is the night where they honor the "Top 30" seniors, chosen by the teachers. Katie asked me to attend and sit on stage with her. Last night she sent me part of the speech that Ed Cabrera (AHS teacher) will be giving about her that's about me. It touched me deeply and made me cry. Many of my 8th graders have asked me to be at their promotion and I will be missing that, too. My friend Amelia is retiring and I'm going to miss her party. In June a large group of old friends are coming to town and having a 30 years later reunion. I've been looking forward to it, and I doubt I will be able to make it.

Enough whining! As hard as this is, it is part of the battle to Kick Cancer's Butt. It will be over mid-June, I have a great trip north with Casey, David and Chris to look forward to, and, best of all - I get to go back to work in August!! It will be like being a first year teacher or being at a new school in some ways - I won't know any of the kids on campus! I can't wait to have a brand new crop of students, and thinking about them keeps me going. I am so glad I was smart enough to choose teaching as my profession. It's the most rewarding thing I can imagine doing.

Last night I watched the last episode of the first season of Glee, where they sing "To Sir with Love" to their teacher. That song always makes me cry. It's a beautiful depiction of the teacher/student relationship.

Namaste,
Jill