The Monster is After Me...

There is so much information out there about cancer, it's overwhelming. There are many theories and "cures" people are writing about. There's the asparagus cure, the baking soda cure, the raw diet and juicing cure...lots of theories about diet especially. There's a list out there on the internet that is attributed to Johns Hopkins, which gives it credibility. Further digging reveals that it is a hoax, at least in it's supposed origin. One item on the list has become almost an adage: "If you like your cancer, feed it sugar." There is the belief that processed sugar feeds cancer.

I a not a fan of processed food. I think that one day it will be proven that processed food, including sugar, causes all kinds of health problems. There are currently more options out there. I have stevia in my cupboard - a natural sweetener that has no calories. When I am in charge of the diet and the grocery shopping, I patronize Trader Joe's and buy organic food. Before I was diagnosed in 2008 I was a vegetarian for 15 years, I drank soy milk, and I limited the sugar. Two years prior to the diagnosis I was misdiagnosed with interstitial cystitis. I followed the very strict IC diet, which meant no caffeine, no alcohol, no sugar...no fun! The list of foods I could eat was short. I had a very healthy diet for years, I exercised consistently from the age of 19 to the present, and I am not a person who tends to get stressed. Yet the monster is after me.

My first friend who died from cancer was Rolly. I met Rolly when I was living in Sunnyvale. We worked together as rec leaders. He was in high school, and I was working as a substitute teacher and went to work for Parks and Rec because I was bored and lonely. Rolly later moved to SLO to attend Cal Poly. Rolly was a young, vegan hippie who was very health conscious. The monster got him. He left behind a young, beautiful wife and daughter.

My second friend who died from cancer was Ben. We knew each other as kids, and he and his future wife Susan lived across the pool from Jack and I in the 80's. Susan became one of my best friends. Ben was one of those people everyone loves. Together Ben and Susan were a shining example of true love. They had two beautiful children. Ben was diagnosed with brain cancer when Susan was pregnant with their second child. They endured six years or treatment before Ben passed. He left behind a family who loved him and will never recover from their loss. Ben lived his life with integrity, with love, and with honor. Yet, the monster got him.

It doesn't matter what type of diet you follow, what type of person you are, or how you live your life. Cancer is random and can happen to anyone. Of course, cigarettes cause cancer as do other things and there are things we should avoid. A healthy diet has many benefits and is very important. It didn't help me, however. My healthy diet and lifestyle didn't keep the monster from coming after me.

Unfortunately we currently fight one monster with another. Chemotherapy is brutal. It kills healthy cells as well. After a treatment it's like having a bad flu for several days. The chemo I did in my port last time was the worst - afterward I was beyond nausea and into vomiting, and it caused abdominal pain as well. It put me in the hospital for five days in an isolation room because my white cell count was dangerously low. This is the chemo I'll start in late February or early March. Hopefully it will not be so difficult this time - it is not soon after surgery like last time, my weight is back to normal, and I am stronger every day. I am dreading it, but hoping it will not be as bad.

This morning I am off to have a CT/PET scan. I am not allowed to eat before the scan, so of course I'm ravenous! The scan is to make sure the treatment is working. Results Wednesday before chemo. I fantasize that my doctor will tell me the scan and blood test show the cancer is gone and I can stop treatment. I now that won't happen...no matter what, I must finish the treatment so that the cancer is gone forever. But a girl can dream, right?

Namaste, Jill