Whenever someone has cancer or dies of cancer, it is described as a battle and the patient is described as brave, courageous, strong... I have never heard anyone criticized for fighting a weak battle. Cancer brings out strength you never knew you had. It does take strength to fight. It takes strength to get out of bed after surgery and walk. It takes strength to eat when all food sounds disgusting and you're so nauseous your stomach is rolling. It takes strength not to rail at fate. The strength lies in staying positive and it's fed by the people who reach out and who care.
Casey quickly changed the channel when the news reported Elizabeth Edwards' death. He muttered something about how neither one of us needs to hear about that. He is very protective of me when I'm sick. I know he worries that the monster will get me. Cancer forces you to confront your own mortality, but I don't worry about it. I feel confident about my ability to smack the monster down for good. When someone famous dies of cancer it doesn't scare me for myself, it just makes me sad for the person who lost the battle.
My scan was rescheduled - again - and it's today. Blood work in the afternoon and lunch inbetween. We're going to Colby Jack's, where I can get lunch and a fabulous dessert or a pastry. I have been craving cake, and I feel it is wise to listen to my body and give in to its cravings. The more weight I have on me before the IP chemo in my belly, the better.
I really love Christmas cookies, if anyone wants to bring me some!
Namaste, Jill
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Cookie Monsters may arrive!!!!!!!!!
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